


Almost There

by OzzyFuzz201



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brother Feels, Hurt Dean Winchester, One Shot, POV Sam Winchester, Pre-Season/Series 01, Stanford Era (Supernatural), Worried Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27372289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OzzyFuzz201/pseuds/OzzyFuzz201
Summary: “Hello?”“Sammy?”He knows that voice. So well. Too well, even after all this time, after three years- three whole years, Dean, dammit, would it kill you to get in touch?- of radio silence, even after trying so desperately hard to forget it, to leave that life behind, that no, that isn’t the Impala in the parking lot, can’t be, they don’t care about me anymore and then it drives off before he can really confirm that his brother isn’t there.He still knows that voice.
Relationships: Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 89





	Almost There

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfic, and I'd really appreciate feedback!
> 
> I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters

It’s Friday night again, which means that everyone is over at Sam and Jess’ to- hang out, Sam guesses, but really it's more just to listen to Brady vent about his week and everyone else to make sympathetic noises while nursing beers and rolling their eyes and wanting whiskey. But Sam really shouldn’t be complaining because Brady is his best friend, more or less. Apart from Jess, but she doesn’t really count, being his girlfriend and all (and Sam still doesn’t really believe it- Jessica Moore, with  _ him? _ ) and Dean. But he hasn’t spoken to Dean in almost three years, so he doesn’t really count either.

Unfortunately.

So really, an argument could be made for the fact that all his friends, all the friends he had, were here. Everyone that he’s had contact with since he got to Stanford, everyone that is in his life now, was right in the room with him.

So he really wasn’t expecting a phone call. But a distraction is a distraction, and Brady can only hold his interest for so long, so he excuses himself to stand in a corner and pull his phone out.

Jess’ eyes are on his back and Brady is still talking and he doesn’t know the number.

And he knows that it is completely irrational, but memories of laughter and then ringing, and Dean’s pale face as he picks up another phone in another crappy motel in another state and  _ yes, sir. I understand, sir. We’ll be packed, sir,  _ and then Dean’s voice, distant and closed and scared, saying  _ come on, Sammy- dad’ll be home in an hour and we’re leaving straight away, _ and it was bad enough  _ then _ , when he had no real friends apart from Dean, but Sam doesn’t want to leave Stanford and Jess and Brady and his life- his friends- his  _ future. _

So he lets the phone ring.

Again.

And again.

And at the last possible second- the last second of the last ring, and is it just him, or do they keep sounding more and more desperate?- he answers.

“Hello?”

_ “Sammy?” _

He knows that voice. So well. Too well, even after all this time, after three years-  _ three whole years, Dean, dammit, would it kill you to get in touch? _ \- of radio silence, even after trying so desperately hard to forget it, to leave that life behind, that  _ no, that isn’t the Impala in the parking lot, can’t be, they don’t care about me anymore _ and then it drives off before he can really confirm that his brother isn’t there. 

He still knows that voice.

“Dean?”

***

“Why are you calling me?”

It doesn’t sound like a question, not even to him. He feels- he doesn’t know what he feels, actually. Angry? Yes. Confused? Certainly. But underneath it all, something deep and -  _ tired _ . He feels tired. Tired of running from his past, from it catching up and reminding him that everything he has here, this new life he built himself, could be snatched away as quickly as it came.

So, yeah. He’s tired. His questions don’t sound like questions. He’s about thirty seconds away from hanging up without another word, and he probably would have if it was anyone other than his brother on the other side.

But he misses Dean. So angry is there, but tired wins.

“ _ What? Can’t a man call his brother?” _

“Not when the man is you, and the brother hasn’t seen you for three years.”

And that’s definitely Jess’ eyes on his back, but he can’t look now, because this is the first conversation he’s had with his brother for so, so long, and he’s messing it up already.

Dean sighs, and he sounds as tired as Sam feels.

“ _ I don’t want to fight with you.” _

_  
_ Sam swallows. He feels small, weak.

“I don’t want to fight, either.”   
_ "Good. That's- that’s good. How about- tell me how college is, Sammy. It’s been too long.” _

Something about this is wrong, different, but Sam can’t really think about what it is.

“College is fine. Is Dad with you?”

_ “No, Dad’s in- Michigan, I think. Something about a werewolf. You got a girl, Sam? How’s Law?” _

“It’s a little late for a heart-to-heart, Dean. Try three years too late.”   
  


Dean just sighs and says nothing. Sam can hear him breathing through the phone, heavy and uneven, small gasps every couple of seconds, and then tired goes away and he’s just mad.

Because angry wins, every time.

“You know what? I do have a girlfriend. Her name is Jess. Law is great. I’m happier here than I ever was with you and dad, you know that? I haven't had to stitch anyone up, or dig up a grave or even splint someone’s wrist, in three years, and you know what? I don’t miss it. I’m feeling great- my  _ life _ is great! But of course, you wouldn’t know that, would you? Because you’ve waited three years-  _ three years, _ Dean- to even check if I was okay! So, no, Dean. you don’t get to ask me about my life now. Because you’re not part of it.”

__

He’s run out of steam, now. He can feel his friends’ eyes on his back and Brady has stopped talking about his life, which is good news however you look at it. And Dean isn’t talking- Sam can’t even hear if he’s breathing or not, and he doesn’t even know if he hung up in the middle of his speech, but there’s no noise coming out of his phone and he’s worried that this is it, he’s burned all his bridges,  _ no more Dean no more Dad no more hunting no more jokes and reading each other's essays and working on the Impala and crappy girl advice and- _

__

__

“ _ Tell me about Jess.” _

__

__

And he can almost laugh, because he still has Dean.

__

And because he has Dean, he’s just going to keep pushing him away until he doesn’t.

__

Because Winchesters don’t get nice things, and all that.

__

__

“Why did you call, Dean?”

__

_ “I… I honestly don’t know, Sammy.” _

__

And he’s about to go off again, but then he hears it.

__

Quiet, painful wheezing, hissed breaths and barely-there groans, Dean’s voice becoming weaker and weaker every sentence, and Sam doesn’t know how he missed it. But Dean’s still talking, so it can’t be that bad… right?

__

  
“ _ \- missed, you, I guess, and it’s been too long really. I’m glad you’re happy there, Sammy I really-” _

__

“Are you hurt?”

__

And dead silence. And Sam can almost hear the words before he says them, the old  _ I’m fine, Sammy- _

__

__

“ _ I’m fine, Sammy.” _

__

“You’re not. Where are you?”

__

“ _... nowhere near you.” _

__

__

And then Sam knows what this is. He can almost laugh- it took him so long, too long, to realise, but- yeah, he knows what’s happening.

__

__

“You’re on some back alleyway, aren’t you.”

__

Again, with the not-questions.

__

_ “Sam-” _

__

“You’re bleeding out in the car-” Dean would never get blood in the Impala, no way- “- not even in the  _ car, _ Dean, you’re sitting in the cold,  _ bleeding out, _ and this is- what some kind of twisted, last words? Some  _ Goodbye, Brother _ bullshit where you want to talk to me one last time- did you even call an ambulance? What state are you in?”

__

The resounding silence is as good a confirmation as he’s going to get.  _ No ambulance, no dad, no car, goddammit, Dean- _

__

__

“ _ California. San Jose. Too far for you to get here in time, little brother.” _

__

__

And he laughs, he  _ laughs, _ like that makes it all better.

__

It doesn’t.

__

__

“ _ You still there, Sam?” _

__

“I’m twenty minutes away, Dean, I’m coming to get you.”

__

__

He can feel it- Dean hasn’t got twenty minutes, he barely has five, most likely- but Sam is already shrugging on his jacket- Winter, what a bitch, Dean’s got to be freezing- and his friends are gaping at him, and Jess- bless her, really,  _ goddess _ \- has the keys, and she says  _ I’m driving, Sam, keep him talking _ , and he nods and they’re out the door and in the car and Dean-

__

__

_ “You don’t have to, Sam. Wouldn’t want to intrude on your ‘new life’ or anything.” _

__

“Don’t say that. Don’t you ever,  _ ever _ say that, Dean. I need you in my life, you hear me? I need you. I need you, I need you  _ so much _ , we’re going to come and get, you, you’ll be fine-”

__

__

Except Sam can hear him, shivering and coughing, down the line. Sam can hear his breaths get slower, his voice get fainter, Sam can hear him  _ dying _ , and Sam doesn’t even know what alley they are looking for, and Jess is speeding and her face is white but not as white as Sam’s, and  _ god, Dean’s face must be even whiter, he’s losing so much blood _ and there’s nothing Sam can do except keep talking.

__

__

“Jess is amazing."

_  
"What?"  
_  
  
"Yeah. Jess, my girlfriend? She- she’s training to be a nurse, and you know those cookies- remember Missouri, her cookies she made when she- when we- anyway, they’re really good, after we get you fixed up, you’ll have to try them, yeah? Dean?”

 _  
"Yeah... yeah. Cookies, got it."  
_  
  


__

__

And his speech is slurred and whispered and tight with pain, but it's there. He’s still there.

__

__

“Brady! Brady is my best friend- you know I’m gonna test you on all this later, right?- Brady’s my best friend, but he’s kind of a dick, like, more of a dick than you and you’ll probably hate him- Dean? You’ve- you’ve gotta keep talking, man, you gotta stay awake and talk to me, we’re getting close, we’re almost there-”   
_ “Sammy, I just- I wanted to say-” _ _  
_ “No. No, no, no no no don’t you quit on me! Don’t you quit on me, don’t apologise, don’t say goodbye, you are not dying today, I won’t let you, you hear me?”   
_ “It’s okay, Sammy, you’ve got your life now, you gotta let me-” _ _  
_ “If you finish that sentence, then I will kill you once you’re all good and alive.”

__

__

And Dean laughs and it sounds like it hurts. And Sam is crying and he knows it hurts. And Jess is speeding and they’re almost at the city now, and she’s asking him to ask his brother which alley they are looking for,  _ which alley is it, Sam, we need to find him, just ask him, keep him talking, don’t let him go _ -

__

_  
"Was it really that bad?"  
_  


“Dean, which alley- what?”   
_ “Growing up. The way… the way we did. Did you hate it that much?” _

__

_  
_ And Sam can’t answer that. Because yes, he hated it. But really- only the parts with Dad.

__

__

“Dean- okay. Okay, it was terrible, and I was miserable and so were you. But you- you were all the good parts, you hear me? You raised me, you taught me everything I know, you were the  _ only _ good part. I- I need you to stay with me, yeah? I need- please, De,  _ please _ , I need you, I need you so much- Dean? Dean, you gotta- you gotta say something, talk to me, you- don’t be dead, Dean, we're almost there, I need- I can't- I can’t- Dean? Dean? Dean!”

__

__

And then he’s screaming, and he’s crying, but nothing's coming out except a broken string of garbled  _ Deans _ and  _ No _ s and  _ Please please please please please don’t be dead, I can’t- I can’t- I can’t- _

__

__

And Jess is pulling over.

__

And they made it.

__

And it's the first alley on the right.

__

__

He’s sitting there, back against the wall and blood all over his front. Shirt in tatters (maybe a Wendigo? Could be a werewolf- those scratches look kind of animal. And Dean still hasn't told him what he was hunting, the idiot). And Jess- brave Jess, beautiful Jess, Jess,  _ Dean hasn’t met Jess yet, he can’t die without meeting Jess, Dean can’t die- _ is either running over to his brother to check his pulse-  _ Jess is amazing, she’s training to be a nurse, Jess makes cookies-  _ or standing next to Sam and screaming in his ear, he can’t tell. 

__

There’s just so much blood.

__

And the world is spinning.

__

And Jess shakes her head at him, mournfully, and closes Dean’s eyes.

__

The tear tracks stay on his face, but the blood stops pouring. It stopped a while ago.

__

He looks asleep.

__

The world is spinning.

__

__

Sam’s eyes are open, but Dean’s eyes are closed and Jess is standing next to him and  _ we need to call someone, we need to get his body out of here, Sam, we should call your dad, we should bury him, we should be getting back, we should stay here forever, we should wait for Dean to wake up, it won’t take long, he’s a light sleeper- _

__

__

His phone keeps ringing and ringing and ringing and ringing and ringing.

__

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are welcome!


End file.
